Grief is a multitude of emotions. We grieve all sorts of things. The loss of loved ones, pets, material possessions, and so much more. One thing we don’t often talk about is the grieving the loss of a person who is still here.
I went through this when my marriage ended. It in turn led me to go through a journey of healing and finding myself.
It took me a long time to forgive him and give grace. I often hear from people who wonder how that is possible. My response is simple.
The person I fell in love with was a facade. However; he did bless me with the most amazing child.
For our son who is a beautiful soul, I am so very thankful.
He also taught me that I need to heal from trauma before getting into another relationship. I had not healed from my last relationship which was physically and mentally abusive. This is what allowed me to accept that what we had was not only real, but what I deserved.
Once I gave birth to our son I woke up. Now I don’t suggest having a child to help you realize what is important and what is ok and not ok, but it was certainly my wake up call.
Things went south and he lost the control I had so freely given away due to a lack of self esteem and self respect.
I woke up.
Nothing was more important than keeping our little guy safe and making sure he had all he needed.
So I learned to forgive my ex-husband. It is not an easy journey, but it can be done. Being bitter does not do myself or our son any good.
I want to teach our son that love and kindness is the way to go, even when things don’t work out.
Open communication is the only way to make sure you are really heard.