Your comfort zone…. its just a feeling

Never in a million years did I ever think that I would wear crazy leggings, stand in the front of the class (without wanting to vomit) or volunteer to coach my sons soccer team.

Very much an introvert until my 8th grade chorus teacher made one of the biggest impacts of my life. If you looked up introvert, I am fairly certain my photo would have been there.

So this teacher (who knew me most of my life), convinced me… no insisted that I try out for the color guard since I was getting ready to go into high school.

She was not only the 8th grade chorus instructor, but she assisted with the high school marching band. With this , it was comforting that if I did get the gumption to go that she would be there.

Never in my life had I been in a situation where I was in front of people doing anything and was ok with it. I didn’t volunteer, I was not team captain. I just kinda floated around in the middle, happily not being first or last at anything.

Fast forward through some more awkward years. As life rapidly moved on with all of its up and downs , I am always humbled when I think of her persistence to get me to do something that I was not comfortable doing.

It may have taken me a few more years to get the hang of it, but I have found myself in various places in life where I mustered up the courage to do more.

I put myself through an EMT class and became a volunteer firefighter. A short lived venture but I loved every second of it.
I became a dispatcher, the voice on the phone that keeps people calm in situations of complete chaos.
I was in an abusive relationship and left after the second physical contact occurred. I never looked back.
I gave birth to a beautiful little soul and married someone that I thought would be a partner for life.
I was reintroduced to a church that I fell in love with, but life took me away again.

Oh how life takes you around and around.

After my divorce I felt an emptiness but knew that it was a blessing that my marriage had ended. I was not empty because I was single. I was not empty because he left. I was empty because I had allowed myself to get away from a life filled with purpose.

I was able to obtain a job that allowed me to be home every night and my son and I returned to church and discovered a group of people and connections I didn’t realize I was longing for.

I rediscovered how to love myself and the sound of my own voice. I reconnected with my inner strength that I allowed to be taken from me.  I learned to enjoy and grow in the silence.

I am so grateful that I reunited with my faith, and signed up for a fitness challenge at a local dojo. The people are amazing, gracious, encouraging, and most of all helpful.

Be confident and step off the X.

Happy Saturday y’all.

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3 thoughts on “Your comfort zone…. its just a feeling

  1. I think the part you mention about living a life of meaning resonates with me. I have felt empty for that same reason. I need to fill that emptiness with something and writing has been helping. I am trying to do things that might help me have a little more control over my health like exercise and drinking more water not for weight loss although that would be great but for energy. This chronic fatigue I suffer from has left me empty because its taken my life from me. Thank you for your insightful blog.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your kind words. If my blog reaches and inspires or helps one person I am grateful. No one is ever truly alone. A healthy diet and lots of water is a great way to start to take some control back. Think of it more of a lifestyle change. I will keep you in my prayers and wish you all the best.

      Liked by 1 person

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